well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
