too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
