..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
