sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
