Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
