Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
