I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
