Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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