just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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