Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
