Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
