just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
