I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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