woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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