i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize