no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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