White coat. Heels.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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