I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
