i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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