i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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