I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
