im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
