OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
