college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
