you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
