It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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