Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
