Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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