Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize