Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
