just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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