We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
