I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Randomize
