great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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