i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
