I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize