omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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