white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
