sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
