Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
