if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
