I can tuck mytits in my pants
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
