Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
