yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
