So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
