fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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