he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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