Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
