I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
