never play flip cup with pint glasses
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
