Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
