Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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