I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
