You made me cry and you don't even care
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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