the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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