OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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