apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
