I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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